AND SO IT BEGINS (AGAIN)- (Final Section Of Blog/Book- Limitless, The Beginning)

Without desiring to appear to be a downer... starting over, surrendering, and loving myself as God does, has been the greatest challenge of my life. The theater of life has “seemed” so unbearable and unfair at times. Our planet is suffering and Ghandi’s quote, “Be The Change You Wish To See,” has at times become a mere Pinterest post. Ghandi also once said, “In a gentle way, you can shake the world.” I do this by creating the discipline to love where it “seems” not to be, starting with myself. I am no longer willing to put my head under the covers and ignore the suffering in the world. The lack of spiritual focus is a dis-ease that must be courageously dealt with from a centered heart. And like other seekers of peace in the world, I have vowed to be that change by giving myself the gift to begin again...

LIMITLESS (The Beginning)

"There are no discounts in the 'Store' of 'Being Human.' You are required to pay full price. Choose Love and it will be worth it." 

    Years ago, I laid on my bedroom floor, begging for Mother Mary to help me. One week later, I met Cinnamon H. Lofton, my mother angel on earth. It only took one conversation for me to know that my prayers were being answered. What I wasn't willing to know was what it was going to take for me to courageously transform my life, step out of victimhood, and remember love. If someone had given me a crystal ball and showed me my dramatically changed future, I would have said..."Hell, no, I won't go!" 

     In college, I was a science major who did not have a clue about writing. I just knew that I loved to write, and even more than that, I loved to tell "real life" stories. Shortly after meeting Cinnamama, my heart told me to start blogging about my journey, hoping that it would make it easier for others to give themselves the permission to be vulnerably brave, too. My song was meant to be an example (a mirror), of our human egocentric conditioning. I would often imagine that reading my blogs would be like watching some over-the-top weight loss journey, shedding pounds of ego instead of fat. 

    As I started to awaken to my heart, I naively told myself the story that everyone would "play the game" and come along, too. You know..."All Aboard!" I wanted my family, friends, Facebook, and (of course) Cara to work through our trash, together. Although I would have preferred for them to attend Living Love classes, it didn't really matter which avenue they took. My biggest desire was for people to just stop finger pointing, create responsibility for their separateness, and to meet in the limitless field of oneness. Choo! Choo!

     A BIG dream, I know. I was yet to discover that what I wanted was clearly NOT what I needed for my soul's growth. Although, my intentions were innocent, I hadn't awakened to the whole truth: I was still giving with a conditional hook. I was addicted for others to take responsibility and change, too. Sure, I wanted to rely on God, and I can't rely on God and resist God simultaneously. To help me reprogram this truth, Cinnamon gave me my new mantra...”Thy will, not MY will, be done- NO exceptions!”

     Choosing and surrendering to however you name your Creator is the only way for us to create complete freedom. To look boldly at the things I didn't want to see and let go of the familiar has been the hardest and most challenging adventure I have ever taken (learning to walk the path of least resistance). To create compassion and forgiveness for myself and then others, even harder.

To put my heart on a platter and hear the sweet melody of The Gambler...

"You've Got To...

Know when to hold 'em, 

Know when to fold 'em, 

Know when to walk away, 

Know when to run"

     From where I sit now, it has been more than worth it "to pay full price." To stand tall for what I know to be true is one of the most liberating feelings I have ever created. To no longer accept lack of authenticity and separateness as the status quo. To be a LIVER, creating strength in my own vulnerability; and to know that in the end, I took a gamble on Love and won.