SURRENDER- Letting Go

At this point, if you have decided to tap into your heart and replace the words that don’t work for you with words that do, you are ready to roll into the realm of joy that is your birthright. The next entry is about letting go and allowing the power of love to take the reigns. Releasing our addictions and addictive demands is the cornerstone of spiritual change. But how? How do we LET GO of our illusion of control? Here is a spiritual exercise where I helped myself to see just how simple it really is. Simple does not mean easy. Easy comes with the discipline of practice. 

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“Simplicity, Simplicity, Simplicity!”

-Donald Lofton 

     When I let go, I make myself happy. So, how do I loosen my tight addictive hold and resistance to life? By being the observer of my mind and allowing the love inside to surface. For many years, my fears told me that in order to let go, I needed to read a stack of self-help books and attend every seminar my husband would agree to pay for. I later came to the awareness that the only way to let go is to take all responsibility for my reactions and breathe into my divinity, HERE and NOW. Letting go is a choice. 

     I remember being in Living Love class and saying, "BUT Cinnamon, how do I let go?” She turned to me, stuck out her arm, and said: “Grab my hand and squeeze as hard as you can.” I didn’t want to hurt her, and she persisted. I then firmly held her hand. “Harder, Kathleen. Harder!” With trepidation, I allowed myself to be instructed. I closed my eyes and squeezed with all my might. And just when capillaries were about to break, Cinnamon said: “If you are willing, let go, Kathleen. And only if you are willing.” 

“The minute you allow yourself to be out of control, you are in control.”

I got it. Could it be that simple? Was I just making it more complicated than it needed to be? Yes. If a snake were biting you, would you hold onto it? 

No one ever said it was easy. 

SURRENDER- Proof That "Could" Is a Gentler Word Than "Should"

“Want to become more loving? 

Speak to yourself in a way that is more loving.” 

     As I mentioned in the last blog, words can often keep us in addiction that hinder us from choosing to create the peace we all deserve. Our language is socially accepted in the world, so most of us do not give the overused and destructive word, SHOULD, a second blink, even when the energy behind it is addictive and connotes that one is at fault if they don’t do as told. Rather, be gentle with yourself and replace your “should” with the word, “could,” instead. Many of you have heard of replacing the “should” word without taking action. You “could” take the time today and see how frequently you impose should in your life experience. Before you know it, you are self-rejecting and faulting some outside circumstance or person for your discomfort, keeping you in a pattern of self-inflicted pain.

       An example: “You SHOULD go to the gym” or “You COULD go to the gym.” 

    Clearly, one implies that if you don’t go, you are at fault. Guilt, judgment and blame demoralize you and keep you from positive action. When we make a decision about what we should do, we have often either beat ourselves into submission or exhaust ourselves and do nothing. We then say...”tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.”

     There is always a payoff when we live in the circle of fear. And as you dare to look closely at your ego, you will see. You may not want to deal with your child and another tantrum, or you may not want to deal with your partner needing more attention than you SHOULD give, or you may not want to deal with THAT person so you avoid them and your trigger. So, you don’t “deal” with them in that moment and you get what you think you want. Sounds great, doesn’t it? Well...unfortunately or fortunately (however you want to view it), you will be provided with numerous opportunities until your lesson is learned. This is when you see that the PAYOFF is the RIPOFF, and it could serve you to manage your challenge, now.

     You will find that guilt, fault, or shame will keep you should-ing all over yourself. The way we speak to ourselves and others is critical. How we speak tends to be the leader in our life more than we realize and leads to our victimization. 

     When we replace should with could, we leave room for love. The wisdom of the heart can always be trusted.