“You don’t have to pretend anymore.
You are Love.
Relax.”
It is the Fall of 2010, and I am forty years old. My body wearily drops to the shag carpet of my bedroom floor. With my hands gripped tight, I am humbled to my knees in desperation. There “seems” no way out. Although I have a strong connection with God, I am not religious. The holy spirit of Love moved me, regardless...
“Mother Mary, are you there? ARE YOU THERE? Pleeease, show me the way because I cannot be a wife or mother, anymore. Or, at least not in this form. Will you help me?”
Making the ultimate commitment and promise, my voice dropped to a shaky whisper...
“If you get me out of this, I’m yours!”
One week later, my prayers were answered...
Nine months after my healing with Shaman Jon (what I like to call my, “re-birthing process”), I met Cinnamon H. Lofton. I remember seeing her name on the schedule in my dental hygiene room. I grabbed Mrs. Lofton’s chart and began walking to the reception area to meet her. When I laid my eyes on my future destiny, I instantly knew that something interesting was about to occur.
“Hi, Cinnamon. Come on back!” I said, as I lifted my arm and waved for her to follow me.
She gets up from her seat and we meet. Cinnamon was dressed in all white linen, flowing loosely from her lean and strong frame. Her mostly gray/white hair had remaining blonde strands from her youth, both interwoven amongst her soft curls, gently touching the top of her broad shoulders. Cinnamon’s eyes, a smokey blue, were captivating. She adorned her outfit with different silver necklaces of varying lengths, and I marveled at her multiple rings holding massive natural stones and crystals on each hand. Her deep wrinkles, trafficking along on what seemed to be every part of her face, gave me the impression she had many stories to tell. Yay, I thought. This shall get me through another monotonous cleaning.
Before I have a chance to put the instruments in her mouth, she began to cry...
“Are you ok?” I asked.
“Oh yes,” she assured me. “Dental offices remind me of my dear Sena who passed away one year ago. He was a soul brother of mine who became a student, and my dearest male friend on earth. And he also happened to be my dentist.”
I immediately chimed in with platitudes to help rescue and catch every tear. Little did I know that Cinnamon H. Lofton only rescued herself and was merely purging and cleansing her grief. I gave her some tissues, but she immediately bounced back and was ready to roll. I was yet to learn that we have a choice to water the weeds and feel sorry for ourselves; or water the flowers, which helps us to become more comfortable with grief.
I began the prophylaxis and something out of the ordinary occurred. Every time we took a breather from the cleaning, I heard the sweet sounds of heaven come out of her mouth. I had no idea how I was going to complete my job but didn’t mind. Eyes brimming, I leaned back with my blue mask concealing my now hanging jaw and listened.
I could say that my life started on the day I was born. Or when I graduated from college. The day I got married. Or how about the day I gave birth to our baby boy? I could say that. But I would not be telling the truth. Sure, those were momentous and joyous occasions, but the day I was reborn was the day I met Love personified. This was the day I began to remember who I really am. Who we ALL really are: messengers of Love.
By the end of the cleaning, I had gone through my lunch break (something I had NEVER done). She invited me to the Wednesday night class she facilitated called, Living Love.
“What’s it about?” I questioned.
“A few of us are in a room, and we allow the Holy Spirit of Love to decide.” She said, just like she was simply announcing what kind of sandwich she had eaten for lunch. Cinnamon had no need for me to go or not to go. She had a take it or leave it type of energy. The decision was clearly mine.
“How much does it cost?” My interest was now more than slightly perked.
“I was guided to not charge.”
Hmmm, what’s the hook? I thought. My skepticism reared it’s doubtful head. I had experienced a shamanic healing and levitated off the table, so I could clearly manage this.
I set aside my fears and said, “Yes.”
