“Change requires change.
They say that the definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again and think, ‘This time it’s going to come out differently.’
It’s all about ‘doing’ it differently.’”
The Kaptain and I met in High School. He was one year older than I and not my typical type. I usually went for the lean free spirited, mellow surfers who didn’t work, much. The Kaptain did enjoy the waves, but was more of a “jock” type, 6’2, boisterous, and (in my way of seeing it) overweight. BUT...he had a REAL job! When I was about seventeen, I remember him watching me play tennis. In my dad’s often covert way, he even had gone up to the Kaptain once, pointed to us girls hitting the ball, and asked him which one he fancied. Not knowing that it was my dad, the Kaptain replied, “Well, Kathleen Reynolds” is looking pretty good.”
About fourteen years later, he resurfaced at a mutual friend's graduation party from dental school. I was still living in my home on the Central Coast of Cali and wanted to make a change and move. I was beyond sick and tired of my area, full of families, retirees, and twenty-year-old Cal Poly students. WHERE ARE THE SINGLE PEOPLE? The Kaptain had been selling medical gloves for Ansel, and my latex gloves were chapping my skin at work. Needless to say...the glove fit. Or, did it? On our first few dates, we argued over astrological signs and gun control. Being an Aquarius, I wasn’t sure if Virgos were a good fit for me. From what I can remember, he sharply said, “Well, if you believe in that stuff, we could never be together.” I could have listened, but after the heart wrenching break-up with Hank on Easter, I was committed to not allowing the stars to rule my life, again. Within three months of dating, I made the decision to move to Del Mar. After selling his home in Florida, the Kaptain had recently moved to San Diego, “rededicating his life to surf.” He was unlike any one that I had previously dated. Very much a gentlemen, opening my doors and holding my hand with a slight lift, making it easier for me to manage the stairs. We both had similar friends, loved fine dining and travel, and we communicated with a lively argumentative banter which felt like anything but boring. Our friends found our differences perfectly hilarious, and I created a familiar comfort. He fit into many aspects of my familial programming, and as they say, “opposites attract.” He was my home away from home. The best part was that he wanted what I wanted: Marriage!
I told my mom first that I was moving, knowing full well that my dad was going to have a fit when he finds out. At this point, I had enough therapy under my belt to go against his unspoken demands that I live forever in the home that he had purchased for me, so I rented it out. My father and I never uttered a word about it. Prior to moving, I did the SLO Triathlon, and he begrudgingly came. At first, he barely acknowledged me. As I swam every lap, I felt his bitter and intimidating silence from the bleachers. By the time I ran through the finish line, HIS daughter had completed quite a feat. He purchased my friend and I table massages. I felt relieved. My thoughts were...dad is at least talking to me, and I did it. I DID IT! I was finally going to be independent from my father. Once I get married, he will leave me alone, and I will no longer be his obsession. Forgetting that I even had a spirit that had different plans, I felt physically and mentally strong. Everything was going to be OK. 
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